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Monthly Archives: January 2014

The Pursuit

Pursuing a waiting child is a different type of adoption journey.  We have seen her face, read her files and know her story.  We try to keep our guard up, but it is very challenging not to get attached to her….and she hasn’t a clue that she is being pursued.  It is all so surreal.  All that she knows is life in an institution.  She has been there 4 of her 6 years.  Can you imagine?

Many people have asked what our children think about the adoption.  That is a very hard question to answer.  They are so young and have difficulty understanding the abstracts with this situation.  However, we do share her picture with the boys and encourage conversation about the hopeful.  Asher is totally committed that we are bringing THIS girl home.  We attempt to guard his heart, but he is determined (like his momma in so many ways).  A few days ago, he randomly said, “Mom if I find a shooting star, I’m wishing for our _____ to be here NOW.”  I swear I don’t tell this kid to think like this.  His heart is so big.  Last week, he told me he had a secret….”Mom, when _____ gets here, I want to give her some of my money.”  I responded, “Asher, wow, you don’t have to do that, mommy and daddy have plenty to give for all of you.”  He said, “I know, God wants me to.”

For.the.love.  I hope that I want to give others money whenever God asks me to!

Judah….oh, Judah.  😉  Being 2, he just doesn’t have much of a clue.  If you ask him, “Judah would you like a sister?”  He replies with, “Yes!”  This next part is not adoption related, but lately, he has been having trouble with using gentle hands….particularly with Asher.  We practice, practice and practice some more what gentle hands do and look like.  We were at the post office last week, standing in a long line of disgruntled customers, and he slapped Asher.  Asher, who never fights back and almost always responds with grace just looked at me and shook his head.  I immediately went into my monologue of what “nice” hands look like.  “Nice hands give hugs and high fives; nice hands clap and pray.  Nice hands do thumbs up.  Judah, what do nice hands do?”  At the top of his little voice he shouts, “Nice hands hit Asher with a stick!”  The line of customers about died laughing.  Oh Judah!

The psychologist for the adoption is Adlerian and has stated that Asher and Judah already have defined roles in the family….Asher is the “good boy” and Judah is the “rascal.”  Yep.  Ha.  In other news on that front, Kevin and I had to taken another psychological inventory (MCMI this time) because our validity was compromised in the MMPI.  This can happen for many reasons, one being that I know and have taken the test.  Another being that we are not psychotic and the MMPI was created for the clinical population which we are not.  Question examples:  “Others can hear my thoughts.”  “So-called illegal drugs are a priority for my spending habits.”  “I haven’t seen a car in about 10 years.”  All I could do was laugh as I answered those.

If you are my facebook friend you know that our house was damaged due to a frozen and busted water pipe.  We aren’t even staying in our house right now due to all the damage and lack of utilities.  It’s been a long week!  However, the adoption marches on and for that I am thankful.  Kevin and I are as up to date with completing the dossier as we can be….we often work faster than the agencies.  🙂  Our goal is to have the dossier sent off by Feb 1!

I want to end with a fun family photo.

We recently took Judah ice skating for the first time….he loved it!

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